POP KILTER

No surprise. The new Spider-Man movie was number-one at the box office this past weekend. With a flash of heat that’s finally hitting the whole continent, a lot of people are escaping to the air conditioned comfort of the theatres. And for all those who couldn’t get in to see Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone swing from atop Manhattan’s favourite landmarks with Denis Leary taking pot shots at Peter Parker’s masked alter ego, they went to see the Katy Perry movie instead. Fine. Perry’s movie, like Justin Bieber’s before her, will be a hit. I have no problem with that. But I think it’s mainly because of Spider-Man. Spider-Man was always been a favourite of mine. I seem to remember him being my first superhero. Batman was a close second. Superman just pissed me off. Flash was cool. Sub Mariner was better than Aqua Man. Green Lantern and Green Arrow shared a loft in the village. And Wonder Woman was Linda Carter and that’s a story about a whole other stage of my development. B...

If you follow Chris Brown’s lead, there are just a couple of things that you have to do to climb the ladder of Forbes’ success just like he’s doing:   Have hit songs that no one can name or hum. Tattoo almost every part of your body in an effort to… oh… um… I don’t know – maybe to be Lil’ Wayne. Beat the hell of your ‘bitch’ and still manage to come out of it with a reputation of being the bad guy that’s not really all that bad at all. Share a name with practically every other Caucasian   guy that I personally know. Take pictures of your naked self in what had to a funhouse mirror that makes EVERYTHING seem too long and too thin and then claim innocence and bewilderment when that picture that you took with your phone mysteriously ended up on the internet.

Justin Bieber was cited for speeding in LA which confirms what I always thought – that fame is a gateway drug. I suppose the dictionary might not define fame as a narcotic. But a drug is “a substance that has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body.” And I think that fits what fame can do to a being. Generally a drug is something that you work hard to get and work harder to get again. You crave it. You think about it all the time. You imagine there is nothing you would do to score again. You obsess about it. And when it’s in your system, you think you own the world. You rule the universe. You think you are a golden god. You think you can do it all. You think you are invincible. You think you have rights beyond the rights of so called normal men.   Certainly in the right context some of these can be admirable traits. This might be the way you think of certain people in your life; your mom, your dad, Steven Jobs, the guy who played U...

Sienna Miller has given birth to her first child who is the reincarnated soul of Ernest Borgnine. It’s got to be true. While the GI Joe star and her Pirate Radio boyfriend welcomed one little life into this world, another Hollywood bright light was extinguished. Borgnine was 95-years-old. And for as much as people might remember him best for is Oscar winning turn in ‘Marty’ or for ‘McHale’s Navy,’ my memories of this strange little actor run the gambit from Cabbie in ‘Escape From New York’ to his appearance on Fox News four years ago when he told the world that his secret to a long life and a youthful complexion was that he masturbated… a lot! But for some reason, the first thing I think about when someone mentions Borgnine’s name is Eugene Levy’s SCTV imitation of the extreme-eye-browed perpetually smiling and laughing actor. Even though Borgnine was 95-years-old, I believe in my head and heart that he was not done doing whatever it is that he had to do on this planet....

Ahhh, Facebook cried. Did you hear the news? What, the world whined back. Tell us tell us tell us! Tom and Katie… Tom and Katie? Tom and Katie… Facebook repeated. Tom and Katie what?! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes… have split up! She moved out. She took Katie Junior with her. She got her own place oin New York. They’re getting a… d-i-v-o-r-c-e! Silence. DIdn’t you read me? Facebook yelled. Everyone is talking about it. The story… its gone viiiiiral! Oh-ya. Right-right. Tom and Katie… broken up… ya-ya… tell me something I didn’t know was going to happen. And so it goes. The world spins. Life goes on. And TomKat is on the prowl. I’ve only been following this tragic (sarcasm) inevitable (not-sarcasm) story through the headlines that the story generates and its annoying Facebook dominance. It would seem that there are a lot more people out there who care about this story than I do. And there are a select group of folk who were actually surprised ...