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Sienna Miller and Ernest Borgnine’s Next Collaborative Effort



Sienna Miller has given birth to her first child who is the reincarnated soul of Ernest Borgnine. It’s got to be true. While the GI Joe star and her Pirate Radio boyfriend welcomed one little life into this world, another Hollywood bright light was extinguished.

Borgnine was 95-years-old. And for as much as people might remember him best for is Oscar winning turn in ‘Marty’ or for ‘McHale’s Navy,’ my memories of this strange little actor run the gambit from Cabbie in ‘Escape From New York’ to his appearance on Fox News four years ago when he told the world that his secret to a long life and a youthful complexion was that he masturbated… a lot!

But for some reason, the first thing I think about when someone mentions Borgnine’s name is Eugene Levy’s SCTV imitation of the extreme-eye-browed perpetually smiling and laughing actor.

Even though Borgnine was 95-years-old, I believe in my head and heart that he was not done doing whatever it is that he had to do on this planet. And, to carry on his silent mission, he will continue to do his important work through the growing being that will be BSM (Baby Sienna Miller.)

Eventually Miller’s child will grow up, sprout a single eye brow, and be able to explain to the universe the importance and deep seated relevance of Harry Dean Stanton. And the world will be grateful – especially Toby Maguire who will play Stanton in a made-for-TV movie sometime in the next 40-50 years.

After that performance, the birds will begin to sing again. The scorched skies will clear. Monkeys will fling nothing but grapes at each other. And the Jackson 5 will go on a holographic tour for the third time.

So thank you Ernest Borgnine. I’d say rest in peace but you are much too busy for that. And thank you and congratulations Sienna Miller. The more babies you produce with little bunny teeth, the better this planet will be.


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